Decide.Commit.Succeed, it works!

am weight- 135

 

John recently fessed up to me that he thought this all was a phase and that I would last a few weeks and then stop. He said he is proud of my commitment. He said he can't believe that I get up every-morning and workout. John now wants to purchase a bike, I keep telling him that we have an entire home gym that he is welcome to use... 3 cardio machines and an array of weights from 2- 20 lbs, kettle ball, curl bar, swiss ball.  I told him that this is a new way of life for me and I never plan on stopping. I hope that my fitness goals & routine will only grow & change. I also believe that it is 80% dietary changes.

Today was a hard motivation day... school was closed because of  Hurricane Sandy weather, many local roads were closed due to trees down and flooding and I decided to take a personal day to stay home. We are very lucky to have power, many in our area are without. So my typical morning routine had changed and I had to drag myself to do my workout. I so wanted to curl on the couch. I was feeling cranky, cold and blah!!!!. I started with negative thinking and was so close to not doing it. Today was probably the hardest day of all since I started this new way of being, to dig deep for the motivation.  I hopped on My Fitness Pal and posted on my wall and a fitness friend offered me the encouragement I needed. Also reading success stories help to motivate me.

 Decide, commit, succeed.... not working out is just not an option, unless I am Ill or injured. Every step, every good food choice, every workout.. counts! it matters, I matter!!! I mustered the motivation and did my workout.  I feel so good about that. Liv actually worked out with me today, she walked on the treadmill and I used the elliptical, Then we stretched and did some weights- she has her own little 2,3,4 lb dumbbells.My highlight was when she said " Woah Mama... your arm muscles look so good when you do that exercise". I am happy to be setting a healthy example for my little girl.

 

 

I do think I need to change things up a bit, challenge my body in new ways... when we get our DVD player working I may try some of the beach body program. Our dvd player is so old that it does not have a port for the hdmi cable we purchased. Time for an upgrade.

how do you stay motivated?

Detox

A big healthy salad For lunch To detox from All The snacks i enjoyed at our party.

Happy Halloween!!!

week 23

My weight this morning 136-



My knee is healing.. thank goodness. It is mostly healed but I am taking it very easy so as not to re-injure myself, I only did weights on monday. I have a hard time getting my heart rate up with just weights. I am just so used to doing 30 min of cardio & 30 min of weights. Doing just weights takes some adjustment. I really felt it in my upper body the next day. I am def addicted to that running high. I like to be breathing heavy & dripping in sweat to feel as though I really had a good workout. Tues & today I did 30 min on the elliptical at the lowest program... still broke a sweat..... something is better than nothing.


Tomorrow I am just going to do weights and rest my knee again since It's still a tad sore and then I will do the elliptical on friday. I am choosing the elliptical over my treadmill as it is supposed to be gentler on the body, less impact. I really like doing cardio 5 days a week, but I  have been thinking about dropping to a maintenance schedule of 3 days a week cardio and 2 days a week weights for the winter.



I fit into a size 8 dress recently...woot!!!! very excited about that.I am going to see my endocrinologist this friday and am eager to see if the healthy choices/changes I have made have had any impact on my thyroid or if I need an adjustment in my dosage. I am only three lbs away from my original weight loss goal of 133 lbs, I still want to meet that goal.. but I am not to worried about it. I am building so much muscle now and I know that I be at a different weight.... it's more about how I look & feel in my own skin than a number in my head.

Ok.. if I have to slow down.. I will

I did something to my right upper knee/quadricep- during Fridays workout I was trying to push myself running faster and then adding incline for short bursts of time. I was really pissed at Liv that morning and took my aggression out on the treadmill and apparently my poor knee. Last night it starting bugging me.. I applied an ice pack and then in the middle of the night it really started to hurt. Resting today- stairs are a challenge. Trying to think ahead of how I can modify my workout and rest my knee... treadmill and elliptical are definitely out until I am healed. I will be strictly weights I suppose. I am bummed. I try to be so careful in my training but I want to push/challenge myself and break up my routine. It was too much I suppose.


I am a little concerned if it will be feeling well enough for me to drive tomorrow.. I drive a stick shift. I may need a sick day..... but I am getting ahead of myself... let me just think positive and baby this knee. Tomorrow is a whole new day,, wouldn't be nice If I am back to normal by then? I will do everything in my power to feel better.

week 22

All is well over here..weighed in at 138 this morning- feeling healthy & fit... I still have a bunch of body fat I would like to lose and it's time to take my weight lifting to the next level and up my weights.Today I was running in the rain pushing a grocery cart and my size 12 pants fell down.. lol... time to visit a tailor for sure. I am saving for a fall/winter shopping spree.

Still doing my fitness thing 5 days a week- I am very dedicated to my exercise. Wouldn't it be nice if I could be as equally dedicated at giving up Sugar?. Baby steps :)  If i am in a time crunch- I do 30 min of cardio ( running 2.5-3 miles on the treadmill or elliptical) and 5 minutes stretching, but I try to do 30 min of cardio and 30 min of weight three days a week and just cardio the other two days so I can recover. I have loosely adapted the female body revolution and new rules of lifting for women to create my own little routines. I drink a whey protein shake with 1% milk  for breakfast on the days I lift as well. I am hardly as sore as I used to get now that I drink those shakes.. I don't know if it placebo or just the fact that drinking protein right after a w/o helps repair muscle. It was an easy, tasty change to adapt to and I get coupons online and snag the protein powder for a steal.

 I do a really, really good  job for my main meal choices...pretty clean & green, usually around 300 calories per meal and one of the following items.

 6 am -morning pre- workout snack- nutrigrain bar, 90 calorie nature valley granola slim bar, kashi bar - 100 cal & 3 grams of fat is what I try to keep this snack to.

8/9 am- breakfast- greek yogurt or flax oatmeal or omelet or protein shake

10 am- work snack- almonds, fruit, 100 cal mini yogurt, sugar free jello, 100 calorie pouch of fig newtons- again I try to keep this around 100 calories.

12 lunch- big salad with veggies & turkey or turkey wrap with veggies on whole wheat  tortilla w/ baked chips on the side, or a cup of progresso light soup & crackers or  lean cuisine in a pinch.

3 pm snack- this is where I get into trouble.. I am usually starving... and home... I have access to Liv's snacks. I have been sneaking Halloween candy i purchased for our party- only one here and there.. but I wish I had not bought them so early.

5 dinner- tilapa, chicken, chicken sausage, lean beef, pork- along with fresh veggies, salads, frozen veggies- small amount of carbs like whole grain pasta, rice or roasted potatoes.

7pm snack-  I try to have a big mug of herbal tea and a fake out cookie- like a graham cracker lightly spread with peanut butter, or a half of a 100 calorie bagel toasted & lightly spread with cream cheese, or a mini bag of popcorn which is very filling. skinny cow ice cream sandwiches are another fav- but loaded with sugar.

even with my errant snacking ways- I rarely go over my daily calorie limit which is 1400 to 1700 depending on how active I was that day. I am always over my daily sugar allowance... so I am still working on ways to cut out the sugar. All those low fat snacks are loaded with sugar.

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Fat Clothes

I don't like using such a derogatory term, but we all have them. Bigger/looser clothing we have in our closet. Today I wore one of my old outfits because I was short on time and did not plan ahead and iron my clothing. This is a jersey non wrinkle set with forgiving elastic waist that I could prolly stretch to fit another friend in here with me. I realized today why the old me was attracted to these Travelers type outfits. They are like wearing PJ's, hide flaws and deceptively allowed me to get away with my weight gain. I don't want to wear these kinds of clothing any longer. I will be selling this outfit pronto. I want/need buttons, zippers and snaps to keep me honest. These elastic waist wide leg pants never feel tight, but my jeans or other fitted items do a much better job at letting me know that I am on track. I really want new clothing. I need to spend an afternoon overhauling my closet and finding what I have that works.

on a side note I weighed in at 140 this morning.... WTF!!!!!!! how does one gain 5lbs overnight??????? trying not to stress.... still working hard. My main meals have been great ( open food diary on MFP if anyone is curious).. however I have been extra snacky.... sneaking halloween treats & cookies. I am just trying harder to choose fruit/nuts instead.

Really?

I love & appreciate my husband... I do! he does so much for Liv and I. I often don't give him due credit. I may have had to demand & delegate to get him to do it, but since I returned to work three years ago he has really stepped up to the plate. He takes Liv to school, makes her breakfast and helps in many other ways. I am so grateful to have him.


Recently he started making dinner on Mondays... now cooking is not his thing... he prefers to grill burgers or get take out. Burgers, kebabs, eggs or take out is about it for John. Today when I came home he told me he was making banquet" pot pies & tater tots".. I thought he was kidding but he was serious. He seemed a little frustrated when I told him that I was not eating that... newsflash... I am eating differently these days honey. I briefly thought of having 1/2 of the potpie & making a huge salad so as not to upset him, but it was not worth the fat & sodium. If I am going to eat that much fat, I am not doing it on a 75 cent potpie.

John said he understood. I did not want to hurt his feelings. I whipped up a quick veggie & chicken sausage stir fry and served it over rice..... so quick & easy and most importantly HEALTHY.


Oh well.. he tried and Liv was happy with her Tater Tot dinner. I am happy that John just makes the effort to lighten my load. Thank you for cooking for Liv tonight John.

Hooping

This is me hooping at my Agencies DV awareness campaign " Purple Light Night" , John looks on laughing at me... but he secretly wishes he had mad hooping skills like me.... the room was full of people too.... so I must have been feeling brave that night.



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Measuring up

current measurements- 10/12/12

Bust-
widest part- 38 band 34

waist-

smallest part 33 navel 36

Hip- 39.5

bicep-12

neck- 13.5 ( my neck has not lost inches and I am ok with that..lol)

I basically lost 2 inches everywhere in the past five months- does one add up the inches for a grand tally?


12 lbs , 8 total inches, 1 dress size- awesome progress achieved in the past five months and ofcourse the intangible rewards of being in better shape


I was thinking the other day as I am often prone to do.... what is the most important element of this journey... the food changes or the exercise? I think it's the food... the complicated relationship that we all have with food... especially with the Holidays approaching, the celebrating,our emotional ties to eating, etc... changing the way I have eaten is the biggest step and probably 80% of the key... While I have made great changes, whole grains, fresh veggies & fruit, lean protein and have given up fast food... 80% of my eating is clean & healthy now... but I still love my sugar/snacky stuff. Little 100 calorie packs of cookies/crackers.. fun size candy bars. I have not made a clean break from the sugar.... for now I am ok with that. I have made awesome lifestyle changes that will benefit my whole family.



as for the exercise I am hooked.....it still takes dedication, it's not easy.... but I do it every morning and feel better going about my day knowing that I put myself first. Today is my day off and I sit here in my workout clothing already, I change into them first thing.. a little trick to make myself get in there and do it... on days off when i have more time its too easy to lolly gag and put it off.... but once I am in my workout gear I am more likely to get my butt in gear.

Off I go to workout and then enjoy a Mommy/Daughter day since Liv has the day off of school.

Dinner time

When Liv came to the dinner table she said " That's it????... just salad?"... this was a big healthy salad w/ spinach/lettuce/veggies and fresh grilled chicken.. plenty satisfying for me... but I prolly should have had a can of soup and some bread & butter for my hungry girl.

Week 21

Feeling good at week 21, I  felt very svelte in my outfit of choice today. I think I need to start wearing trouser socks soon... toes are getting chilly over here. I need to get my size 12 clothing taken in- I have no idea what that will cost or if it is more cost effective to just buy pre-owned on ebay?  I know when I had the sleeves shortened on my winter coat it was more costly than I thought it would be. I just have one pair of black pants at the moment that fit me perfectly, my other pants fall off. I know... such problems I am facing. I am kicking myself for giving away so many of my too- tight clothing .... because a few of things I held on to with the intention of selling, now fit me. That is one thing about me.. I am not a pack rat or a saver.. if It does not fit.. out it goes. Oh well.... now I get to try on size 10's and get some new basics for my wardrobe.

I also need to take my new measurements... have not done that in a little while.  This morning when I weighed in, the scale initially said 134, I ran to get the camera to document my scale victory and then it was 135.... so here I am at 135... going up a few when sore from pushing the weights and back down when recovered. I am still as motivated as ever and doing my thing five days a week.

it's a hair thing

last october

oct 2012

I have been officially growing out my hair since this time last year. I had a shorter in the back, long in the front bob and now I am just trying to get rid of that cut. I have just been working with my stylist at slowly changing the shape, letting the back grow out and cutting the front shorter to frame my face. I go every 10 weeks or so to clean it up and give it some shape. I have seen so many cute short cuts and have been tempted, but I have been working at growing this out for so long that I want to see it through. I figure if by spring I am not digging my hair, I will go for the big chop.  I have baby fine hair so I need to keep it at a length that feels long enough for me but still holds it's shape. That asymmetrical bob did make my hair feel fuller and it was cute.. I just want something different. Today i am thinking I need shorter bangs.... we will see.


updated-

got it cut.. still looks exactly the same just a little cleaner and better shaped. Staying strong on growing it out.

Living with a moody child

I am a pretty even keeled,mild mannered person. I would not consider myself someone with a short fuse. Sure I get frustrated and have off days but generally speaking I am not moody nor am I negative ( usually). Liv has been diagnosed with a mood disorder and takes abilify.  I wish I could really put into words what that is like to live with a child who suffers from a mood disorder. This is way beyond a child who is just cantankerous, or age appropriately mad about something.

It will be like a dark cloud of negativity overcomes her " I wish I as never born, see this is why I told you this is the worst day ever, so now you hate me huh?, I hate my life, so everything's my fault, huh?". As a genuinely positive polly anna esque law of attraction person, this drives me crazy. It is as if while in these funks she believes the worst about life on the other hand when they pass she is the happiest, sunniest, sweetest girl you can ever meet. 


I know she can't help it.. I have taught her all my metaphysical tricks " clicking her fingers and saying  delete, delete, delete when she thinks a negative thought"... phrasing things like " wouldn't it be nice if Emily can come over after homework, rather than... I bet you won't allow me to have Emily over"... and this has helped a little. She has days where she really struggles and sometimes there is nothing i can do, say or try... we just have to let it pass.

as Liv's Mom, all I want to do is make things better. No seven year old child should have such negativity in her little head. 

Week 20 pics

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week 20

All is well over here- in the past 20 weeks I have only missed 2 workouts, one for a sinus headache and one while recovering from my root canal. I am really proud of my consistency and progress working out five days a week like clockwork. The other day I noticed I was only 1 lb away from my goal weight and it was not about the scale anymore. I was happy to see 134 on the scale, but I am far more invested in just being healthy & strong. A few of those lbs was from not being able to eat sufficient calories when I was in pain.  If I could say anything to myself 20 weeks ago or to anyone just starting out.... I would say be patient... just keep doing it, be consistent in working out, start small & add on as you feel stronger, challenge yourself, keep making smart choices with your diet.. all those small changes add up and soon you will feel & see the rewards.

I never want to go back to the old way I was living. I think I have found balance now in my healthy living and that is a beautiful thing. This week I fit into my old size 10's.. that was a nice moment. My thermometer jeans which were to small to even button but they now fit perfectly.I have rubbed off on Liv, she is reading labels and very aware of sugar content now. I always want to set a healthy example for her. so yeah.. Life is feeling really good. I can't believe it has been three years this month since I returned to work and went from SAHM to career woman.


I am going to take some measurements & pics soon.. I am still not done with my journey.. I still want to firm up & lose fat and get into a size 8.. this is a lifelong thing. You will see me on here in 20 more weeks with week 40 updates.


have you started your healthy journey yet? what week are you on?

My week 20 reward was supposed to be a massage... but I want new fall clothes more than I want a massage... so I finally bought some clarks shooties I had been coveting forever. I hope they come in the mail today.