Toothy concerns

 This time last year my newish dentist told me I had a cavity between my teeth and when I asked how he was going to fix that, he said he did not know until he got in there. That made me very nervous. I am a planner and like knowing whats going to happen. Once I can wrap my head around something, I can deal with it.

Fast forward to the Tarot reader and she mentions that I need to see a dentist and will have some work done. Funny she mentioned that as I had been having a nagging feeling that I needed to get my tooth looked at, but I wanted a second opinion.  So I was asking around for a dentist recommendation. I just did not trust that initial dentist, however I loved his assistant who cleaned my teeth


The same day I was told by the Tarot reader to go to the dentist, I went to a health fair and met a dentist. I picked his brain and asked him about my between the teeth cavity and he was so amazing & easy to talk to. I took his card and walked away. He came & found me when I was getting my cholesterol checked and upon hearing that I don't have dental insurance.. offered me a free exam & x-ray.  He was my second opinion and I was so hoping that I just needed a simple filing, but he told me that I need a root canal for starters and eventually a crown.

I got tears in my eyes.. I sucked it up so I would not cry in-front of the dentist. I have never had any serious dental work done. I am feeling very nervous. While I am not in any pain ( thank goodness)... the tooth is slightly bothering me... making itself known. This cavity was not visible on the panoramic x-ray, nor can it be seen when examining my mouth..it was a silent slow growing thing and since I went years without dental insurance... It just went unnoticed.

I am really nervous about this... but It is important that I get this done before serious pain starts and so I can save my tooth.  Liv had a root canal/pulpectomy and a silver cap at the age  of 6... she was so brave and if she can handle.. I can to. I am almost wanting to pay the $50  per hour for the nitrous oxide.


on the bright side the hygienist said my teeth were very clean and had very little plaque.


any words of wisdom.. no horror stories please.. I am resisting the urge to google this.

week 15

Today's weight 139- seems to be fluctuating between 139-141, today was only the second day I saw 139 since I posted that picture last week.

Success is not some glorified thing that happens to you one day. Instead, it’s the accumulation of the little things that add up that make the difference. In order to have a successful year, you need to have successful months. In order to have a successful month, you need to have some successful weeks. For a successful week, you need to have some successful days. And in order to have a successful day, you need to have some successful hours. It may not seem like what you do in the next hour will make much difference. But you can’t have a successful year unless you start right now by having a successful hour. You must start today by making the little changes that set you up for great success later. It’s the only way to get ahead in life. The changes that you make do not have to be big changes. In fact, the littler the changes the better. Just make little change after little change and eventually they will turn into big changes.

Week 15 finds me tired.... I did so much yard work this weekend... so I don't really feel like I got my typical R&R time. I  trimmed all the bushes... all 10 of them, our hedge trimmer is heavy and vibrates my whole upper body when I use it and it requires a lot of reaching when I use it. I pulled weeds, tended to my garden. This record hot summer has really caused us me to neglect our yard. John won't do anything around the yard except mow and that is really hard to get him to do. He despises yard work and would tear out everything growing and cement the whole lot if I let him.

I am running three days a week and working out on the elliptical two days a week, doing upper body & abs as well. All is well in the exercise department. It's a habit now. I realized that I have a problem with sugar... switching to whole grains... you bet... eating more fruits & veggies... no problem..giving up fast food...done.. drinking tons of water... all the time... staying within my caloric guidelines... easy peasy...but I crave sugary snacks... rice krispie treats/fig newtons/fiber one brownies/ Liv's fruit snacks/skinny cow ice cream treats- any  lower fat/cal sweet thing I can get my sticky sugar coated little hands on. Sugar is my vice for sure. If you look at my food dairy in MFP... my main meals are perfectly balanced & healthy.. I have a snack at 6 am prior to my w/o, a snack at 3pm and usually a snack at 7pm and then I am done for the night.


I am doing ok on the  portion size,calories & fat since I am choosing healthier low fat snacks... but I am going over my limit on sugar... I need to work on that. I think that cutting out the sugar will boost my fat loss goals. I am trying to figure out what low sugar snacks I can have instead but I am having a difficult time breaking up with sugar.. it's complicated.

what's your vice? sweet? salty? fast food?

Stink, Stank, Stunk

There is no delicate way to put this.. after a day of play....my daughter reeks. Something in her body chemistry changed recently and instead of just smelling like a dirty sweaty kid.. she smells like the entire football team. After her first day of school  today I leaned in for a hug and was nearly knocked out by the stench. First off she is more active than your average 7 year old... moving more than not. She vibrates with energy constantly.  She is also a naturally sweaty kid.. sweats in her sleep and is always warm.


It was a hot day today, No AC in her school, and a gym day. She bathes nightly now.. she has to. Thank Goodness that she is more self sufficient in the bathing dept only needing help with her hair.  She is more hygiene savvy these days.We have a history of baths being a issue with Liv and she still fusses now & then, but nothing like in the past. Obviously I don't want to add deodorant to the mix just yet... but goodness... she seems so young to be smelling like that already. She also has a little problem in rushing through her #2 wiping. We are working on this. Rushing is just how she functions and getting her to s l o w down is a challenge... so it is no wonder really that she is extra stinky/sweaty at the end of her school day.

a few weeks ago she had her bath early and I allowed her to play outside for 20 min afterwards and just in 20 min of horsing around in the backyard she smelled so stinky.

I was not sure if you had any ideas or insight ...

Sauce

My 1st attempt at making homemade sauce last year was a disaster.. I was using regular old slicing tomatoes and the sauce was watery.  The end result was not worth all the effort. This year I grew Roma tomatoes and I had a bounty of them. The lady who sold me the plant said that were San Marzano?? not sure about that. This sauce turned out much better. I roughly followed this recipe. I did use basil  enhanced evoo, onion, garlic, ground beef, green peppers and a bay leaf in addition to the other spices.. I also added a little sugar... because I thought I was supposed to. but after doing some web research.. I see this is a highly debatable move.

This will be my splurge dinner of the week, over some gourmet tagliatelle our new neighbors just gave us in a gift basket for allowing them to take down our fence( long story)


I grew up eating out of the Jar sauce.... this sauce was worth the effort.

Do you have a tried & true sauce recipe? 

Finally some muscle

granted my muscles are not at the " wow" factor yet.. but I am starting to see some definition and that makes me very happy.

My body inspirations- one age appropriate/one not

weekend project

Extra sore today from Fridays run... outdoor running just feels so harsh on my body. My legs hurt so bad. Thanks to my weekend home remodel project I logged 22 flights of stairs today and at least one more flight to go when I tuck my daughter into bed tonight. You can see the project my daughter & I completed over on my other blog.

Have a good weekend.. I plan on resting tonight & tommorw

Fast food

I have been busy at work and had not had a chance to do some shopping. In the past I may have swung through a fast food chain and picked up burgers & fries, but now I  run into the grocery store grab a cooked chicken and a bag of salad.. this was Fresh Express strawberry fields spinach salad, I added red onion & mushrooms. Liv is so used to eating dark greens that she will usually eat spinach, however she likes it to be mixed with romaine. I also whipped up some instant rice and now we are just waiting for John to get home to eat. John & I will enjoy the chicken breast- skinless, while Liv loves the legs, wings and thighs.

I use the left over chicken for my salad the next day and make Liv chicken salad sandwiches.

what's your healthy fast food?

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week 14

This has been a good week for me. I just feel really good in my skin. I still have work to do, goals to accomplish, but overall I feel great. I got my cholesterol checked at the health fair and I hoped that the last 14 weeks of clean healthier eating would have made a little dent and who knows.. maybe it did.. I do not have a recent number to compare. I have high cholesterol because of genetics and it's been high since my 20's. Also my medical condition causes high cholesterol.  My total number was 265, my hdl was 57 and my tc/hdl ratio was 4.6. In the past my cholesterol was always around 225- 270... just naturally that way... oh well.


I was feeling a little lost with having the c25k completed.. like I needed a goal to work towards.So i am training for a outdoor 5k , I found one that benefits a local school for children with Autism, it is held in October and I would really love to be ready to run that by then. I am only training outside one day a week, and running on the treadmill the rest of the time. Running 1/2 mile outdoors at this time is harder for me than running 3 miles on the treadmill.. I have some more work to do. I prolly should kick that up a notch to train 2X a week outside. I don't want to sign up for it until I feel confident that I can complete it.

I don't get it!

There seems to be an anti-fitness thing going around social media/FB... what is with that? so some can post political views, religious quotes, silly pics of animals,hobby's,and vent about being hung over and show off a pedicure... but I share a victorious post on completing the c25k or a run that I am proud of and I am wrong?? Really !!!! whats the difference exactly?... is that not what social media is all about? to share a little part of ourselves... to be a little boastful. I do not post to rub anything in any one's face... sure I get jealous from time to time of other friends figures, fiances or whatever..but mostly I am "good for them".. I believe you get what you give... Karma.

I asked my Facebook fitness friends group members if they were getting the same vibe and the general consensus was yes and what a shame. I hope that people reading this blog will simply appreciate the effort  that was involved in whatever I post, and carry on. If you leave here inspired or motivated then that's all the better. Most of you followed me over from my old blog and I understand this may be a new transition and you may choose to not continue reading as one reader did as soon as I posted something controversial.. "The Tarot". I know many of you are invested in Liv and care about her, and for that I am grateful. I know that you want to know how she is doing, but a small part of me feels that some come to mostly hear about the trials. If people simply wanted to see her... than the traffic on her other public picture blog would be high. I have nothing to base that one other than a gut feeling. Blogging over there did not feel right anymore.I needed to move on. I don't feel like sharing the trials publicly anymore. I am just can't do it anymore.. I feel like a broken record.

Maybe this blog is not your cup of tea. That is ok with me...really it is. I felt that some may have come over begrudgingly... " well if your closing shop at leap of faith... I guess I would like a invitation to the other blog"... Lol.. twist my arm. This is only a small portion of my life, my goals, my interests and yes its a little superficial.....but i have earned it and It feels good for an hour a day... just focus on me..and that is what this blog is all about... a very small focused piece of the puzzle. I can't say that I will never blog about Liv on this blog... because this is all so new and I am not sure if the need to blog about her will return.


If you just want to keep tabs on Liv and find out how she is doing, friend me on Facebook ( link is in sidebar) and message me.. I will be happy to give you a update.

Thanks for reading

Tarot Reading

caution this post contains info on tarot cards- I am very open to metaphysical stuff, but I realize that not everyone is. If this type of stuff is not your cup of tea, you may want to skip this post. 



So I have been feeling at a crossroads with my marriage... conflicted... a big part of me obviously wants to stick with my better/worse- sickness/health vows, after all I do love my husband. Another very small part of me wants to separate... now. I am at a crossroads but unwilling to make a choice... so I stay put... praying for clarity and trying to make things better.

Early yesterday when preparing for the day I thought of checking out a shop I had never been to to get a tarot reading, for some odd reason I felt a strange urge to do so.  Instead I head to a street festival with the Fam and the first shop we happen into, John actually pointed it out. I see a sign that a reader is in. It just felt right. I have never had a reading before. John takes Liv to the kidszone and I have my 20 min reading. The reader does a 3 month general health/money/job spread and then allows me other questions.

I asked about my marriage- I pick six additional cards... the first card is a 2 of swords which depicts a blindfolded woman with two swords crossed and the explanation for that card fit me to a T.

The Two of Swords is a card of choice and of the difficulty of making a decision. The woman in this card is blindfolded, and this may be intentionally so, indicating that she is avoiding making a very difficult decision. Her state of calm and relaxation may be indicative that she is trying to avoid this important decision in order to bring about peace of mind. However, the decision must still be made. Therefore, the appearance of the Two of Swords indicates that you are currently being faced with a difficult decision but you are attempting to hide from it and pretending to yourself and others that if you ignore the decision long enough, it will go away of its own accord. However, the decision will not go away simply by your willing it to depart. Your conscience will eventually force you into facing your refusal to deal directly with the situation.
The Two of Swords therefore serves as a reminder that life’s decisions are frequently quite difficult and raise the possibility of painful consequences. However, you must “take the bull by the horns” and make your decisions with your best intentions, fully aware of the possible consequences. Avoidance will ultimately lead to a greater conflict.

 The Tarot reader said that there is love in our marriage.. but that we are not adding anything new to it... because of fiances & health. She told me that just from her advice to me... Woman to Woman..her Psychic 2 cents... that our marriage has enough love to save... that it's worth working at.

She went on to say that John needs to get his health issues checked out..pronto... he needs a colonoscopy, his circulation checked and his heart checked. He is low energy, not running on all cylinders and constantly worries about $$$. She said he was a hard nosed, good, generous Man... but his health issues are preventing him from being the husband he can be.  Again she/the cards were right. He is not well... has serious gastro issues, circulation issues and complains of chest troubles. I feel as if I am married to a 80 year old man. He won't go to the Dr. I have made him appointments, he goes once and won't follow up ( no insurance) I have urged him to go to the free clinic.... he won't.


It's frustrating trying to love a Man who does not love himself enough to take care of himself. I think I am scared of losing him, so I want to leave. That feels so cowardly to admit. I get tears just writing that. I don't think I realized before yesterday what was driving my desire to run. I get it now. He left a job with health insurance and when we were insured he still would not seek help. I think he is afraid of what he will find out. I am afraid he is going to leave me so I want to leave first.  I love him and want him to be healthy and take care of his medical concerns.... no matter what the expense. Speaking of the expenses, the reader said we may have an unexpected expense within the next three months that may stress me out a little.


If anything the reading just validated what I already knew and opened my eyes a little.


~ I did sit down and talk to John and relayed the entire reading, along with my honest concerns and light bulb moment behind the need to flee... he is going to try to work on his health issues. I am so lucky that I can talk to him about anything.

Double squee!

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Now I am just showing off ; )

Squee!

I waited a long time to see this number (sorry it's sideways, Blogger does not have a rotate function for pics)

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screw the scale

I AM making progress!!!

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Week 13

I was watching extreme makeover last night and Chris Powell was frustrated that his client was not losing weight stating it's "basic math"... burn more than you consume and the lbs will drop. Well I can tell you that for me at least.. it has not been as simple as basic math. For 13 weeks I have burned more than I consume. I have worked hard, and been vigilant in my food choices and even more so in documenting them. I have never been this dedicated before. The last few weeks my weight loss has been at a standstill... I am trying not to let it get me down. Every day when I complete my food entry on MFP, it says " if everyday were like today, you would weigh 132, 130, etc... within 5 weeks".. well it's been 13 weeks and that's bullshit.I wish I would opt out of having to see that message every-night.


I do have  hurdles that most people don't have.  I have a very rare condition called Panhypopituitarisim. I have to supplement every hormone in my body and the doctors can't always duplicate or mimic the exact dosage I need...especially cortisone... they basically guess and in my opinion they overestimate worried about an adrenal crisis. This could be making my journey harder... but not impossible. This is why I work out 5 days a week instead of three. I will not use that as an excuse to give up..I will persevere. I am a survivor.


 I was researching how to measure your body frame- my body frame is considered "large" because of the size of my wrist(6.5 inches).I would have guessed medium. I am short in stature, but not dainty. I come from hearty stock, tall big boned people in my family. My parents are 6 feet tall. My Grandparents were tall, My sisters are tall. I should have been tall.I was meant to be tall( long story, I died at birth- brain damage= growth hormone deficiency and issues listed above, they can tell by growth plates in my hands how I was meant to be)  I am very fortunate to have reached the height I am today ( 5'3). I do have rather long legs for a short girl.. so I will take that as a little extra benefit from my supposed to be a tall girl genes. So maybe I need to re-calculate my goal weight, taking my body frame into account and instead focus on my measurements,body composition and muscle.

I am still as motivated as ever.  Thinking of my week 16 reward already :)



 

What's for dinner?

turkey salad- spinach,romaine,veggies and my fav low cal dressing. with a side of cottage cheese

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My first 3 miles

woot!

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This mornings workout was so amazing.. I can't believe I ran 3 miles. I ran three miles.. without stopping.... Amazing. I have one more workout to complete and C25k is officially over :( I will still run however. I really pushed it today too... increasing my speed when I felt strong. I had sweat dripping in my eyes and I never had a more exhilarating work out. Now I get why people run. When I was cooling down & stretching my quads were tingling from the run and then they were hurting at the office. Music is really important to me. Here is a link to the podcasts i listen to while running, I am especially fond of the week 8 Brittany Spears remix. Unfortunately I am unable to upload any more podcasts to my ipod shuffle because I created my itunes account on a different/now broken computer and I tunes won't let me switch without losing everything I put on there. They will only transfer my purchases. There is a complicated way to get around this, but i will need some technical help with that. For now I am stuck with the music I have on my i pod. I would like to add the 5k to 10 k podcasts Now I plan to continue running,and re-train on the c25k outside.

week 12 reward

Every four weeks I reward myself so long as i do not miss a workout. I was ill on Wednesday and missed a w.o but made up for that on Saturday... so my streak is still intact. I had originally planned on getting a massage, but instead felt the itch to shop.I shop so much resale/goodwill that going to the mall is a treat. I had a coupon for $15 off $30 for the Limited and I had been eying the lace tee online and that was indeed so lovely and I may purchase it when it goes on sale,but I ended up getting this instead and I also bought this necklace in silver and some earrings. I love the limited I do... I was really hard to just choose one blouse. I am loving all the colors out for fall- royal blue, mustard,wine, purples. I love the colored pants & skirts. I wish everything was not so darn sheer requiring one to purchase a tonal cami... smart marketing ploy I guess.

How do you reward yourself for your hard work?

What's for dinner?

This is a go to dish that Liv and I like. The pre-cooked meatballs are great to have on hand and this meal comes together in a jiffy.


1)Barilla whole wheat/whole grain pasta ( high in fiber & protein)
2)fresh mushrooms, onions, zucchini, garlic, paula deen house seasoning and usually fresh spinach ( we were out)any fast cooking veggies work- we like adding peppers too
3)a tablespoon of evoo and a smidge of butter- I don't know why but I like adding both.. I am sure just one would work.
4)alfrescos chicken meatballs or we use chicken sausage- Liv loves the meatballs.
5) Parm cheese
directions- boil pasta, in a different pan saute the veggies and brown the meatballs, add the pasta and top with parm.

Prior to the healthy changes I would have made a heavy alfredo sauce to top this that Liv loves, but I find that just sprinkling it with parm satisfies her need for cheese and is much healthier in the long run. I am really lucky that Liv is not a picky eater, I don't know if the picky eating trait is something that can be nipped in the bud or not. She has been encouraged to keep tasting & trying. She eats all veggies.. she loves mushrooms & zucchini & fresh spinach. She adores guacamole.


do you have a picky eater or a healthy eater?

Home gym

I love my little home gym. The room that I use for the gym has always been my favorite room in the house, I love the colors and it always seems sunny. This room was Liv's room and the only reminder is the Winnie the pooh switch plate, which I am keeping as I loved her classic pooh nursery theme. Liv always says.. Are you happy I gave you my room? lol... while she loves her huge new bedroom, I think she misses her old room too. I really don't use the Nordic track much these days, but that was the purchase that started this all. It's sentimental to me, but i should sell it to free up some space. At a yard sale something about that called out to me and kicked my butt into high gear and then I moved Liv upstairs which we had planned to do in the fall anyway. The one thing I do want to add is a weight bench.. so I can lay down & do pec flys and other exercises. The board I have been using is so uncomfortable. do you have any exercise equipment at home?

Elliptical

Home stereo system

treadmill

weights

nordic track

a non-fitness related vent

uggh..Just venting this on here as Hubby does not read this blog.So long story short. I work more hours than my husband and I do the lions share of the household chores including cleaning, cooking,  laundry, gardening, shopping and parenting. My husband has three delegated chores... take the garbage to the curb, load & unload  the dishwasher and pack our daughters lunch.. I occasionally assist him with the later.. So his 3 chores versus my 20 some chores.

He has had recent on again off again issues with illness- mostly gastrointestinal issues. He was bitching and moaning why I don't do his chores when he is sick and instead I just wait until he is well to resume them... meaning the dishes pile up. I hate the dishes piled up and I know my husband.. If I do it once for him... he expects it all the time. I have done it before to help him out, but learned my lesson.I help out in other ways while he is ill, take Liv to camp, make her lunch, bring him tea/soup, etc.

He would happily allow me to do it all. I had to insist that he take on more responsibility once I started working after being a sahm.  He complains about it constantly. I ignore him. So he has been under the weather, as was I. When I am Ill, he does not step up and take over my responsibilities. He has never cleaned the house when I have had the flu, nor has he done any of our child's laundry..... all those things that back up when your knocked on your butt for a few days.

So maybe I am just being stubborn and I should be the bigger person and just do the damn dishes..... but I don't want to be used or taken advantage of. Not that I think he is intentionally doing that... he is just a procrastinator and has a habit of "overlooking" things he will think I will clean up Ex : a raccoon gets into the trash and its scattered in our drive... he leaves for an errand and i end up picking it up when I leave a few minutes later when I depart for work so it does not blow into the neighbors yard. Then he says " Oh i was going to get that"

It's a matter of principal really...this is not the 1950's.... when I was a sahm I did it all... and I was happy to as I considered that my job along with raising our child. But now that I work, why should this all be on my shoulders?

week 12- uggh

 week 12

Today is the first day in 3 months that I have missed a workout. That crushes me a little. I was experiencing a horrible sinus headache/head cold since the weekend that had my ears blocked up and left me in pain & dizzy. I was so bummed, but have been on the couch all day.. taking pain relievers & sudafed and praying for some relief.

I know it's not that big of a deal to skip a w/o..... just the same as having a treat now & then. I am proud of my commitment and I even put my w/o clothes on, thinking I would soldier through a quick cardio session. Oh well.. I will workout on Saturday to make up for today. Working out is a part of my routine now and it's how I start my day, it still takes motivation & dedication... but I feel so good when I am done. I feel a sense of accomplishment.


So I was thinking that once I am done with C25k, I may tackle B210k... I like having a goal to work towards. I like the challenge and I am sad that C25k is just about over. When I started week 1, I could not run for 30 seconds before getting winded, and now I am doing 3 miles. A slow 3 miles ( 4.8 or 5 mph, with fast 6 mph  interval sprints here & there)... but I am doing it. I am still retraining on the C25k outdoors..only once a week... because running outside is really not my thing. Is there an indoor treadmill 5 k I can enter?. I find outdoor running is much more taxing on my body and my endurance running outside is not up to par with running on the treadmill. So perhaps once I am able to run 3 miles w/o stopping outside.. I will move on to  signing up for a 5k and then start training with the B210k program.

Is eating healthy more expensive?

I think so... however many people do not agree with me. I am not saying the health benefits and payoff are not worth the extra expense. This is not an excuse to not shop for healthy choices.Maybe it is because I am shopping more frequently to stock up on fresh fruits & veggies. I really have not crunched the actual numbers... John is the numbers guy in this Family.

Here are the items that are more expensive in my neck of the woods

Greek yogurt versus any other yogurt

100% whole wheat bread versus plain ole white bread

Brown rice versus white rice

Anything remotely healthy is priced higher ( fiber one bars, whole wheat anything )

soy or almond milk versus dairy milk

dark leafy bag salads are more expensive than iceberg

Nuts in general- which I eat more of now, are expensive.


How about you?  what do you think?

What's for dinner?

3/4 cup brown rice

topped with mushrooms,peppers,onion and 1/2 johnsonville chipotle chicken sausage link...sauted in a little butter or evoo

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My Routine

My exercise routine


Cardio

Monday- 30 minutes on elliptical selecting a pre-programmed workout routine... there are 6 levels total, 1 is easiest and 6 is hardest... I have worked up to level 4 and that kicked my ass.

Tuesday- 30 minutes running on the treadmill- starting week nine of c25k- I run for 2.5 miles

Wednesday- 30 minutes on the elliptical

Thursday- 30 minutes on the treadmill running

Friday- 30 minutes training to run outdoors- I  have been doing a mile- half walking and half running.


strength training- I don't know the actual names for all the work I do.. but it's adapted from the Firm workout videos.

3 days a week-  heavy arm weights

push ups

tricep dips

15 lb delt work- bent delt raises

10 lat raises

10 lb military presses

15 lb curl bar for biceps

10 lbs triceps- french press

5 lb for lighter work

Abs
twice a week/here and there---- not as consistent with this aspect


I rest on weekends

Before & During Pics- June to August

top  before pic was taken on 6/14/12
bottom during progress pic was taken 8/5/12